sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
