let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We left the knife in your bed.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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