I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
