WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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