Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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