I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
