Will you blow on my dice?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
