i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
