I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
