If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
