i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
