I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
