We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
