its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
