so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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