I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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