the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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