Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
