I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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