It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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