ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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