Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
