also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
