I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
