I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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