Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
