Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
