We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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