i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
