I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
