I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
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Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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