Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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