Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
