Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
