she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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