Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think your dad took our porno
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
