do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
