If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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