That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
