I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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