I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
