I want to have your abortion
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
