best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
