think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
