Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
