Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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