so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
