hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's blow job season.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
