Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize