I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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