Porn is love you can see.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
