Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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