I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
