I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
