I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
