I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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