sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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