so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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