you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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