U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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