I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
