i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize