Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Say something about gay babies.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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