Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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