Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Im part way to drunk.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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