there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have already put on my inside pants.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
